VOICEOVER (VO): Some of the nation's favorite celebrities... That's the pig for you!

This is the pig for me.

VO: ..one antiques expert each...

Celebrities.

Seducing you, yes!

VO: ..and one big challenge - who can seek out and buy the best antiques at the very best prices... Don't get them big man!

Don't let him have it.

VO: ..and auction for a big profit further down the road?

You're kidding me - it doesn't even fit!

VO: Who will spot the good investments?

Who will listen to advice?

You like that?

I'll tell you what, it goes with your eyes.

Does it, yeah?

VO: And who will be the first to say "Don't you know who I am?!"

Cuckoo!

VO: Time to put your pedal to the metal - this is Celebrity Antiques Road Trip!

Yeah!

VO: Welcome to the beautiful medieval city of York, where there's a distinctly medical feel to today's road trip.

VO: Here to diagnose some antique bargains are "Casualty" and "Holby City" stars Charles Dale and Laila Rouass.

LAILA: So do you know where we're going?

Absolutely no idea.

Do you know anything about antiques?

CHARLES: A little.

You know, I know what Clarice Cliff is.

LAILA: So you just trying to psych me out there, that was just... CHARLES: Yeah, possibly, possibly.

LAILA: It's not gonna work.

VO: Laila's gorgeous exotic looks once graced our television screens in the blingtastic "Footballers' Wives", but it wasn't long before she showed her real mettle in the drama "Spooks".

VO: Then as new registrar Sahira Shah in "Holby City".

VO: But no matter how glamorous her TV career, she's never forgotten her roots.

LAILA: There's nothing wrong with Essex, thank you very much!

CHARLES: There's nothing wrong with Essex.

LAILA: Chigwell.

VO: Charles Dale is a well loved actor who cut his TV teeth in the series "Lovejoy" - that'll come in useful today.

VO: But he's best known today as the loveable porter "Big Mac" Chalker in the long running series "Casualty"... (SIREN) CHARLES: Ambulance.

LAILA: Oh no, it's the ambulance!

CHARLES: That's the guys, you see.

LAILA: That's your lot!

CHARLES: Yeah!

It's a bit of a new location for it.

VO: Yeah, they've been let off their ward rounds for just two days, with £400 each to find some antiques that will turn as much profit as possible, so with their eyes firmly on the task ahead... LAILA: This is lovely.

CHARLES: This is lovely.

LAILA: I could do this all day.

CHARLES: Look at this.

VO: They're setting off in a racy red 1960 Sunbeam, scrubbed up and ready to go.

LAILA: I'm just intrigued to know who my expert is going to be.

CHARLES: Yes, that will be interesting.

LAILA: Yeah.

CHARLES: Ahahaha!

JAMES: Ready?

Here we go.

VO: And talking of experts, our consultants for the operation today are heading off too in a car that will definitely meet with Laila's approval.

VO: They are our classy duo James Lewis and Paul Laidlaw, in their iconic 1975 Ford Cortina.

VO: James Lewis has been an auctioneer for over 20 years, and is an old hat on the Antiques Road Trip.

He's known for an unusual style.

Can we give him a kiss?

VO: And he's the one on the left.

Come on.

VO: But there's method to his madness.

Pee bottles?

PAUL: We are terminators!

PAUL: I think this'll be like the boxing match from "The Quiet Man".

PAUL: It's gonna be epic.

VO: Auctioneer Paul Laidlaw is a savvy Scot, who's never happier than when finding a good deal.

Until they kick us out, I'll keep scratching.

VO: Paul's determination knows no bounds, and there's nowhere he won't look for a bargain.

VO: Our road trip today sees us on a whirlwind tour of Yorkshire, starting in the lovely old city of York before racing all the way down south for an auction in charming Chertsey.

VO: Though first, our experts and celebrities need to rendezvous.

But there's just one small problem... LAILA: It's gone, isn't it?

CHARLES: It's gone.

VO: Oh dear.

Not even Charles is going to be able to nurse this one back to health.

LAILA: Come on Charles.

CHARLES: Come on Sunbeam!

LAILA: You can!

CHARLES: It can't.

So it looks like we might have to walk.

CHARLES: Shall we?

VO: That'll mean they're going to wear down some shoe leather - and they'd better hurry up, as James and Paul are on their way.

I'll tell you something I do know about Charles, in his dim and distant past.

JAMES: Right?

"Lovejoy".

That's credibility with me!

JAMES: Laila is an absolute stunner, isn't she?

It'll be "Beauty and the Beast" meets "Antiques Road Trip".

PAUL: I bet she's going to be high maintenance, you know that?

JAMES: She is going to be high maintenance.

PAUL: She's going to be high maintenance she is, it's going to be handbags.

PAUL: Unless you find an Yves Saint Laurent piece of luggage, you're doomed.

PAUL: There's no crossover in interest.

VO: Well, it looks like our chaps have decided already who's with who - James actually looks nervous.

CHARLES: Ah, I spy!

LAILA: (GASPS) CHARLES: I spy two men in matching jackets!

CHARLES: Lovely to see you, Charlie.

PAUL: Nice to see you.

CHARLES: Nice to meet you, James.

I heard that!

Antiques dealers' jackets indeed!

First things first, we are auctioneers.

I hope you're not car dealers, because if you sold us that car, you're in trouble.

We have one car to fight over now.

Yeah, I know.

But I'm having that one.

JAMES: Do you like that one?

LAILA: I'm an Essex girl.

It's a Ford... CHARLES: That is Essex.

LAILA: That's Essex.

What have you got in your pocket?

I'm with you, aren't I?

Yes!

CHARLES: We're hitchhiking mate!

Yes!

I'm up for it.

JAMES: We've got the car!

Actually it's just as well, I don't think we'd have fitted side by side.

I said that to him!

I said look...

It's not going to work.

We'd have got in that way.

We're wider than the car!

VO: Right, enough larking about you lot - let's start getting this shopping sewn up.

LAILA: See you later!

JAMES: Oh it's a bit Essex, aren't it dear?

LAILA: Bye babe, bye!

JAMES: See you later!

LAILA: See you later babe!

JAMES: Bye.

LAILA: Nothing wrong with a bit of Essex!

VO: Ancient York was founded by the Romans in AD 71, and this historic town is bursting with spooky old buildings and atmospheric city walls.

It's even been named the most haunted city in Europe by the Ghost Research Foundation.

VO: Sounds like the perfect place to dig up some interesting antiques.

The Banana Warehouse Antiques.

The Banana Warehouse, in Piccadilly.

VO: Both teams are heading to the same shop this morning, where owner Dave Dee and his assistant Warren are on hand to help.

LAILA: You know they're here?

Charles is here.

Yeah, Charles and Paul.

JAMES: Are they here?

LAILA: Yeah, they are.

JAMES: Come on!

LAILA: Come on!

I'm not having them have first digs!

LAILA: No chance.

Hi guys!

Excuse me, thank you very much... PAUL: Oh no, no, no, no!

JAMES: That car of yours... We'd better go in and compete.

PAUL: Yeah, let's do it.

VO: You have £400 - start spending.

VO: Straight away, it's not the kind of shop that Laila's used to.

LAILA: I don't know where to start.

This is completely different.

I was expecting it all to be laid out and ready, and almost like, you know... seducing you!

Lalique and silver... VO: You're not in Knightsbridge now, dear.

Charles and Paul are also finding it hard to find anything.

Charles gets a bit distracted with a spot of reminiscing.

CHARLES: Yeah, at home, I have several 78s.

The only reason I have them is because my dad has had a record shop since 1964, which previously was my grandfather's piano shop, so he sold and tuned pianos, so yes, that's why I have a couple.

I mean, what is the position with 78s these days?

78s are a nightmare, an absolute nightmare.

I kid you not.

You can't give them away.

CHARLES: No.

VO: Meanwhile, Laila puts Warren on the spot.

LAILA: Come on, have you not got something stashed away?

WARREN: I don't know what you're looking for!

Well it doesn't matter James is a hard man to sell to.

LAILA: Something that's going to... JAMES: I'm not!

LAILA: ..make us some money.

JAMES: Let's keep wandering.

VO: But wait, shop assistant Warren has an unusual suggestion.

Wow!

Look at that!

What in God's name is it?

It's a fire extinguisher.

Fire extinguisher!

How much is it?

I really like that.

35 on it.

Do it for you for 20.

LAILA: I like... but I like... JAMES: Do you like it?

That is the kind of thing I would buy, but I don't know.

That's bonkers, isn't it?

VO: This fire extinguisher probably dates from the 1960s, but as a novelty item it's a bit pricey, even at £20.

JAMES: Now the thing is... LAILA: What?

..it's not whether you like it.

LAILA: That's the thing - is it going to make us any money.

LAILA: It's only £15, isn't it?

JAMES: No, he said 10.

LAILA: Oh did he say 10?

Yeah, he said 10.

It's not that big of a risk, is it?

For £10, it's not a big risk at all.

LAILA: Yeah.

JAMES: Yeah.

I'll go from 20 to 15, not quite as far as 10.

LAILA: What about 12?

Go on then.

You've bought your first deal.

Shake the man's hand.

Thank you!

Well done!

We've got to make a profit at 12!

VO: Well chaps, it's certainly quirky.

I hope this isn't setting the tone for the rest of your purchases though.

VO: Charles and Paul meanwhile have also found something novel.

That looks to me... cherries, something else, cocktail sticks.

CHARLES: So take yourself back to the 70s, with your pineapple hedgehog... CHARLES: There we go.

There we are.

PAUL: Wow, look at that.

I'm loving this, I'm absolutely loving this.

If you do that really, really quickly, it takes off, apparently.

PAUL: And in case you're a complete numpty, it tells you what to do: press!

VO: This ingenious cocktail nut or nibble server actually dates from the 1950s, and was manufactured in France.

Weird.

I like the geometry, I like the proportion, the form.

VO: Yep - Paul, it's a pretty piece.

VO: But it's a pretty price too at £35.

I'm not interested at anywhere near that.

15.

PAUL: Nah.

This is our first purchase.

CHARLES: I shall be led by you in all things, sir, when it comes to valuations.

PAUL: Give me that for a tenner.

Meet me in the middle at 12.

Don't know about you, but I want to shake this guy's hand.

Yep, that's absolutely fine.

You're a good man.

Eccentric.

Thank you very much for that.

That's alright.

Cheers, thank you.

Marvelous.

VO: A deal for £12, but wait - they've not finished.

You'll need something to serve the drinks with all those nibbles.

CHARLES: Now... here we go.

That is funky.

Expensive.

CHARLES: It's very expensive.

Worn plate.

Is that plate recoverable?

You would say that's... With harsh application of elbow grease.

Right.

Yep, I want to see the bottom.

OK.

I assume it's molded, so massed produced.

Now we know who made it.

VO: This decanter is Italian and dates from the 1960s.

Its body is made of ribbed glass but its spout is silver plate and a bit stained.

At £85, is it too much?

Now then, young Warren.

CHARLES: We would like to buy that from you but it's not the be all and end all to us.

If I polish it for you.

Yeah.

Save you the hassle, 30 quid.

CHARLES: If you get that to our mutual satisfaction, I will go to 25.

Deal.

CHARLES: That's fair enough.

VO: Charles, you're a natural.

PAUL: Beautifully handled, may I say.

Compadre.

Partner.

CHARLES: Absolutely.

VO: Laila and James have also spotted something else.

Quite African, am I right or not?

I think it's actually English.

Oh, is it?

But it's known as Tigo Ware.

I think it's Denby Pottery.

JAMES: If it is Tigo Ware, then it is quite sought after.

Right.

VO: Denby Tigo Ware was popular in the 1960s and was inspired by the Oriental.

It's a classic design, where thick, black glaze is incised through with a sharp tool to reveal the white clay underneath.

VO: It's priced at a modest £12 at the moment.

But we've got a chip.

OK, so what do you think?

Which is tiny.

Won't make a lot of difference, it's very, very easy to cover that without any evidence at all.

JAMES: One of the biggest problems though, is that we're not taking it to an area that knows a lot about Tigo Ware.

LAILA: What do you think... do you think we ought to... JAMES: Make him an offer of a fiver for it.

Come on then.

JAMES: Don't sound too keen.

LAILA: No, I won't.

I'm not that keen.

VO: On the way to haggle with the shop owner, Laila can't stop herself from doing a bit of personal shopping.

Quite like this.

VO: You're not here to buy your own accessories Laila, concentrate.

JAMES: Hey, it looks good!

VO: This shop owner isn't going to give up easily.

Cheap pot.

DAVE: Cheap pot.

Fiver.

Is that all...

I mean, come on.

It's 12 quid.

Five quid.

Come on.

No.

No way.

Come on.

It's chipped.

You didn't know it was chipped.

It's got a slight little... underneath... You priced it at 12.

You can't even see it.

A chip is a chip is a chip.

I reckon that's been done since you priced it.

Has it?

Because you didn't know it was there, did you?

No, I didn't know.

So you've stuck 12 on thinking it was perfect.

OK, I'll take eight for it then.

LAILA: We can do that.

JAMES: Deal.

Eight.

LAILA: Well done, boys.

DAVE: You can all get off my back, obviously then.

VO: Nicely handled you two.

So with the fire extinguisher, that makes two items in the old bag for £20.

JAMES: Bye.

LAILA: Bye.

Bye.

Come again.

VO: He must like 'em, he's even given Laila a free hat.

JAMES: He's such a businessman.

VO: Laila and James are off to pastures new but Charles and Paul meanwhile have spotted something hidden away up high.

PAUL: Can you see what's up there?

PAUL: That is a 1920s hobbyist's treadle operated jigsaw.

PAUL: That mad tool up there, the jigsaw.

WARREN: I will have to find out what he wants for it, WARREN: I don't think anyone's ever asked as long as I've been here.

CHARLES: It's free.

WARREN: No, not quite.

Do you like though?

Can you see where I'm going?

It's a boy's toy, it's a bloke thing.

It's a boy's toy and it'll end up back in the shed where it came from originally.

PAUL: Exactly.

VO: Hiding up there on the shelf, it's difficult to really see this 1920s fret saw, but Paul's intrigued.

That's the treadle parked across the table, but the condition between you and me - that looks original.

CHARLES: It does.

The chap I've just asked, its retail value in here, they've had up around £100.

PAUL: Nah.

WARREN: But... That's why it's still sitting up there, innit?

He'd be willing to take 40 off you.

PAUL: Nah.

They're abandoning hope of selling, they stopped trying when it's behind lampshades.

When it's behind stuff, so 20 quid in your sky is a lot better than nothing.

So... 20 quid's where I was pitching it.

I will ask for you but I'm not sure of the response.

If it begins with 'F', don't tell us.

VO: £20 seems a good price for something they've forgotten they even ever had.

CHARLES: It could hammer us.

It could make 120 quid if two... are you talking... CHARLES: Yeah or nothing.

But... PAUL: (WHISPERS) What was the craic?

WARREN: Deal.

PAUL: Seriously?

WARREN: Seriously.

Get in.

Good man, Warren.

CHARLES: Warren, cheers mate.

WARREN: That's alright.

CHARLES: Thank you very much.

PAUL: Buddy.

Lovely.

Thank you.

Now I've just go to get it down.

Yeah, can you wrap it?

VO: Right, let's have a proper look at this thing then.

Back in the 1920s, amateur craft making was very popular and fret saws like this would have been advertised in hobbyist magazines.

VO: Operated with a foot pedal, the jigsaw works in a similar way to an old sewing machine.

And it's not long before Charles reveals a hidden talent with mechanics and gets the jigsaw up and running.

We'll get there, we'll get there.

VO: From a ticket price of £100 down to just £20, good work chaps.

You two are a dream team.

VO: With the decanter and nibble server they bought earlier, that makes a total spend of £57.

Right, sun's shining, make the most of it.

We don't have a car roof.

There's your change.

Ah, Warren.

Mate, thank you ever so much.

Absolute pleasure.

PAUL: Cheers, buddy.

Thank you.

See you again.

Take it easy.

See you now.

VO: Feeling flushed with success, Charles and Paul waste no time in heading to the next shop.

VO: Laila's favorite pastime might be shopping but James has persuaded her to take the rest of the afternoon off.

VO: He's taking her and her nice new hat on a little excursion...

They're leaving Charles and Paul in York and heading southwest to Wakefield.

LAILA: So, where are we going?

JAMES: We are going to Wakefield.

LAILA: Oh, are we?

What are we doing there?

JAMES: Do you really want to know?

LAILA: No, OK, you can surprise me.

VO: Known as the Merry City, in the Medieval ages, this jolly town made much of its money from the glass and textile industries during the Industrial Revolution.

VO: Today's it's still a busy, bustling place and a center of commerce but it's not the shops that have brought Laila and Charles here.

JAMES: Well, here we are.

LAILA: OK, I'm a bit...

I'm intrigued.

I can see it's... you know.

It's a hospital, right?

It's a hospital.

You'll feel right at home.

OK, OK. JAMES: You thought you'd got rid of "Holby City", you've come straight back to a hospital.

What are we doing here?

We're going to a mental health museum.

VO: They've come to the Stephen G Beaumont Museum of Mental Health based at Fieldhead hospital.

It's in the grounds of what was once the Stanley Royd Lunatic Asylum.

VO: This asylum was one of the earliest ever built in Britain in 1818 and was closed in 1995.

LAILA: Wow.

VO: Is there anybody inside?

Oh yes, Rob Ellis is here to show them round.

I'm James.

Nice to see you, hi Rob.

Laila, hi, pleased to meet you.

I have to say, this was about the last place I was ever expecting to find a museum - on a hospital site.

VO: Before institutions like Stanley Royd, mentally ill people had nowhere to go to get help.

A new belief in the early 1800s that mental illness could be cured led to the building of lunatic asylums as places of treatment, but sadly they often became places of incarceration.

VO: Indeed, patients found themselves in asylums like this one with all manner of problems, many we wouldn't consider to be mental health issues today.

This just gives you an example of some of the kind of people that came and some of the places they came from and what's interesting here is the "By whose authority sent", and what we have to recognize when we're thinking about these places is that asylums don't hoover people up off the street, people are pushed into the asylum and very often it's family members that are doing the pushing.

So what kind of things, specific things, were people admitted for?

Cuz this looks...

ROB: It's very often things like depression.

On this list here... LAILA: It says jealousy here.

ROB: It does... JAMES: Jealousy?

Loss of a leg?

That's not a mental health issue.

No, no, it isn't but we're taking a step back, we're working out what is the thing that's driven these people to act in the way that...

The loss of the leg has caused the mental... ahh, OK.

ROB: Em, infidelity.

Seduction.

And you can understand the social mores of the time, that if you've been seduced and people find out about you being seduced, you could maybe understand why that might drive you over the edge.

VO: As attitudes towards mental illness improved during the 20th century, and doctors searched for new treatments, ECT or electroconvulsive therapy was thought initially to be a new miracle cure.

So, OK, we know what it is, but how exactly is it used.

I mean, is it some part of the body, is it attached to some part of the body?

ROB: Yeah, this is a modern version.

It's got a plug so it goes into the mains presumably, and as far as I'm aware, it's like a pair of headphones attached to the temple and then a current is passed between the two lobes.

Oh, God.

And you're given a...

I don't know whether this is it but you're given something to bite on to stop you swallowing your tongue.

ROB: I'm not too sure what the date of this machine is but ECT really takes off in the 1940s.

And in the 1940s, this is progressive, this is one of the reasons why these places no longer exist.

It's seen as the way of treating people as outpatients.

This seems to work.

Only on small groups of patients initially, but it seems to say there are some positive results, we can start to close these places down.

VO: Thousands of patients underwent electroshock treatment with various degrees of success.

One of my earliest memories as a child, I must have been probably five or six, was going down to Bath where my grandmother and grandfather lived and going out on a big, white lawn.

I remember people in white coats coming out and it's awful memories, my grandmother coming out, being very upset and she suffered from depression quite seriously and they treated her with this and it's the first time I'd ever seen an adult cry.

ROB: Yeah.

JAMES: She came down, she sat down and she just burst into tears.

ROB: I bet.

JAMES: And talked about this and I've actually hated those machines ever since.

ROB: Yeah.

JAMES: But, I know they do... JAMES: But they do good as well, don't they?

They do good, and it works.

Yeah, I can understand that, this is still a hospital site and a form of ECT is still being used today.

VO: Today, many of the mentally ill can be treated as outpatients but 200 years ago, inmates were kept almost as prisoners, watched over by an army of attendants.

ROB: The great thing about this period is if you escape and if you're away for two weeks, then you're written off the books.

LAILA: What do you mean, they can't... Do they go searching for you?

ROB: They can go searching for you, the attendants who are looking after them will be fined - if you lose a patient on your watch, you will be fined.

So, the attendants really, really want to make sure that they capture you, they will go knocking on people's doors but if you're not found after two weeks, off the books.

LAILA: That's it.

ROB: That's it.

And I think it's about time we escaped.

Yes, OK. And eh, if we get away and don't come back for at least two weeks, we're away.

We were never here.

We were never here.

Thank you so much.

See you later.

I don't think we're gonna be discharged, that's for sure.

LAILA: You won't be!

We've got a two week window to get out of here.

VO: Yes, chaps, time to leave but out of the door, not over the wall for you.

CHARLES: Working, walking, working, sleep.

VO: Back in York, and up for a bit of exercise, Charles and Paul are walking briskly to the next shop.

PAUL: It'll do me.

CHARLES: Shall we?

PAUL: Give it a go.

Hope our luck stays in.

Aye.

VO: They may be on foot but with three items bought already, they're making good time.

CHARLES: Oh, look.

- a veritable grotto.

Here we go.

Nice.

VO: This shop is rather aptly called BBC Antiques.

I bet they find something here.

VO: And it's owned by local Yorkshireman Martin Stoddard.

Ah!

VO: It's a real Aladdin's cave.

The boys must be able to dig up something.

CHARLES: This is nothing to do.

VO: Poking around in the gloom, Paul thinks he's made a discovery.

CHARLES: Yeah, I'm liking that.

PAUL: Oh, that's a good reaction.

Now look, the light's not great... PAUL: Let's retreat to a corner.

CHARLES: Okey doke.

CHARLES: It's the solidity of the color, It's very nice.

CHARLES: I like the shape.

It shouts to you, there's a little bit of damage.

PAUL: Oh, don't say that.

CHARLES: Yes.

VO: Dating from the 1930s, this is an example of Pilkington Lancastrian art pottery.

The designers at Pilkington experimented with glazes and colors to great effect and this vase has a subtle speckled lapis blue glaze.

VO: It may be lovely but it's a hefty £85.

PAUL: Selling this at auction.

My estimate - 30-50.

Hmm.

So, seriously, 80 quid down to 30 to be in safe territory.

Yeah.

But I'm up for it.

This is over to you this one, it is.

This is a tough haggle, I'll leave that one to the experts.

VO: With some straight talking, can Paul persuade Martin to knock the ticket price down?

The question is, can you slaughter that price, or not?

I can probably work on it for you and find a good price.

I'm looking at 20 or 30 quid.

MARTIN: Oooh.

I know.

I know.

It's the damage.

He gets all Scottish when he's haggling, you notice that.

PAUL: Dae I?

CHARLES: Give the impression he's really, really tight.

PAUL: Stop reading me like a book.

VO: Are you saying our savvy Scot is stingy?

CHARLES: (SCOTTISH ACCENT) There you go.

Eh, I could do that for £40.

Well, the dull truth is, you're not going to lose much on that.

CHARLES: Yeah.

But unfortunately, are they gonna make much on it either?

I think it's a hedge.

CHARLES: I tell you what, sir - and I know this is very cheeky - but to help my friend here, do you think you could give us another fiver on that?

I'll say yes, I'll do another fiver off it.

Sir, thank you very much.

Thank you.

That's very kind of you.

You have, you have made a Scotsman very happy.

It's very hard to do that!

CHARLES: It is.

VO: Nothing like a cheap bargain to keep a Scotsman cheerful.

CHARLES: Thank you, sir.

VO: And another item in the bag for just £35.

These boys are on a roll.

After all that shopping though, they must need a rest and so for our stars of the ER, it's time for some R&R.

Nighty night.

Who writes this stuff?

VO: Beginning of day two and James and Paul have wrestled Laila out of the Cortina and are on their way to meet up with their celebrity teammates.

VO: Both teams are on their way to the next stop on our road trip, the vibrant city of Leeds.

VO: On the way, Paul gets the lowdown on Laila.

PAUL: Can she wrap?

JAMES: Rap?

PAUL: You know what I mean, listen to me!

JAMES: Yo, I'm gettin' down, that is sick man.

JAMES: That sort of stuff.

PAUL: You are so down with the kids.

JAMES: I is, I is.

What sort of rap, really can she rap?

PAUL: She can manipulate men.

JAMES: Oh wrap around your finger!

PAUL: You get it, I know... VO: Yes, James, don't forget to use Laila as your secret weapon.

VO: With their car now in need of some emergency treatment, Laila and Charles have hitched a lift with the crew, but on a fine morning like this, they're taking a stroll to the next rendezvous with James and Paul.

VO: Laila's feeling in a confident mood.

So, I'm most definitely by the sounds of things going to make a lot more money than you.

CHARLES: I'm sure you will(!)

LAILA: Yeah.

Pfft!

VO: Leeds is a bustling city, with the third largest population in the UK after London and Birmingham.

It has such a diverse range of shops and department stores.

It's become known as the Knightsbridge of the north, which should keep Laila happy.

LAILA: Can I go in for a chocolate bar?

CHARLES: No, no, we haven't got time.

We're supposed to be shopping.

I know, we are and it's just up here.

LAILA: I hope I don't end up in the same shop as you.

VO: So far, Laila and James have only spent a measly fraction of their £400 budget.

They've used just £20 of their cash on a Denby vase and a 1960s fire extinguisher, leaving them £380.

£15, isn't it?

VO: Charles and Paul, however, have splashed out a much more impressive £92 on their hobbyist jigsaw, their decanter and nibbles server... PAUL: Nuts anyone?

VO: ..and a rather lovely Pilkington blue vase.

This leaves them £308 in their pockets to spend.

Both teams will start by fighting it out in the same shop again.

It's called Swiss Cottage Antiques.

VO: Sounds charming, but doesn't look Swiss to me.

LAILA: James, we've got lots of shopping to do today.

I know, I know.

A bit of catching up to do, James.

Good to see you.

Not catching up to do, just shopping.

LAILA: We've had to walk here.

It's not funny.

You guys have had my Cortina.

Ah, yeah but we've got the Cortina for the rest of the day.

Good.

Guys, you're walking again.

CHARLES: Yeah.

JAMES: Come on then.

JAMES: Come on.

CHARLES: Watch out, cat!

JAMES: We'll give you half an hour.

LAILA: Yes.

(MIAOWING) VO: This antiques emporium is a veritable treasure trove and it's owned by Sandy and John.

So, have you spotted anything?

Not yet.

LAILA: No?

JAMES: Just so much stuff.

I know, you don't know where to start.

VO: There's so much to choose from here, James has had a rush of blood to the head.

JAMES: What do you think to that massive champagne bottle?

LAILA: Forget it.

JAMES: Are you sure?

LAILA: That's not going to sell, come on.

LAILA: It's ugly.

JAMES: It's a bit of fun.

VO: James, you're mistaking Laila for her character, Amber in "Footballers' Wives".

Now, she'd love that.

You can imagine somebody holding that as a massive object and it making £60-70 at the auction.

Who's going to buy that for £70?

It's not even a good looking thing.

I'm not, no, I watch this show and I think 'why did they buy that?'

Now I'm one of those people that's buying something, someone else is watching me going "why did she allow him to buy that?"

JAMES: OK. We won't buy it.

I know you're going to convince me.

By the time we're done in this shop, I'm gonna be carrying a huge champagne bottle going "what am I doing?"

Wouldn't it be great fun though in the back of the Cortina?

OK, I'll make a deal with you.

If you can get it for 15 quid or less then we can buy it.

JAMES: Alright.

LAILA: Yeah?

VO: Having a beautiful woman next to you, James, has made you go potty, mate.

JAMES: There's something in this shop that's completely insane.

It's taking up so much space.

What's that?

That not another mad fool on the planet apart from us would ever look...

Speak for yourself.

Me, alright, me.

Would ever look at.

What's that?

JAMES: That's that giant... SANDY: The bottle.

I've been given a limit, that if I don't get it for this then we can't have it at all.

And it... would something stupid like a tenner buy it?

No.

What would be your best?

20.

JAMES: 20.

The absolute best.

Oh, we're almost there.

You couldn't make it for that.

You know what my limit is on it.

JAMES: Oh OK.

I'm going to leave you with our Sandy to discuss and then just let me know how it goes, I guess.

JAMES: Alright, alright.

I'll do you a deal.

Go on then.

I'll go £16 then I'm over her limit and we both might... LAILA: I can hear you, James.

LAILA: Right, what have you decided?

Do you want the great news?

LAILA: What?

Do you want the great news?

LAILA: You're so cheeky.

We own it.

Shut up.

Are you serious?

Oh my God.

VO: Yes, it's all yours for £16, you lucky girl.

JAMES: Then I think what you need to do is to sign it, straight across that label.

LAILA: Alright?

OK. JAMES: We get our camera or one of these snappy, and we have you with the person that buys it and that's the deal.

LAILA: OK.

Cool.

JAMES: Yeah.

VO: Let's hope there's someone equally mad at the auction, or someone with a very big straw.

Over in the sane part of the shop, Charles and Paul are busy delving around.

They're even looking at the things used to display the antiques on.

How about the thing you're draping your bangles on?

JOHN: The eh, stand.

The winding stand.

PAUL: What do you call it?

Whining?

JOHN: Wool winding.

Right.

Is it all there?

A bit of turned wood.

CHARLES: Mh-mm.

Distinctive object.

I think it's...slightly mad.

JOHN: It's a sputnik.

PAUL: It's a sputnik.

VO: John thinks it's a wool winder but Paul has spotted that it's actually a genuine antique cat, or stand, that was used to hold plates or bowls to warm in front of the fire.

VO: It dates from the Georgian period, and is pretty fab.

PAUL: What's the price on that?

35 quid.

No, what's the be... VO: At £35, Paul and Charles convince John to sell it to them for a much more reasonable £25.

Lovely sir, £25 as agreed, and that's a five, and a 20.

Lovely, John.

Thank you.

Pleasure doing business with you, sir.

JOHN: And with you, sir.

VO: These two don't hang about, look!

Job done.

Job done, sir.

All our items, and we have a cat.

A proper antique.

Aye.

VO: Our chaps have finished their shopping already, so with some time on their hands, they're setting off for a little sight seeing this afternoon.

Laila!

LAILA: I'm here.

JAMES: Laila!

LAILA: Oh.

VO: Meanwhile, over in the crazy corner, they've just got the simple task now of fitting a 6ft tall fiberglass champagne bottle into the back of a Cortina, like you do in Essex.

Are you kidding me?

It doesn't even fit.

LAILA: We're gonna have to put it on its side.

JAMES: Hang on, hang on, hang on.

LAILA: I'm not giving up my seat for a champagne bottle!

You can drive.

What are you doing to do, just hold it?

JAMES: In the back.

LAILA: What is he doing?

It won't go in there either!

LAILA: No.

VO: Luckily Laila has a local mate she can call.

Hello, Terry?

VO: Terry.

It's Laila.

I've got a massive champagne bottle... LAILA: Done.

JAMES: Yeah?

Yeah.

Go on, leave it here.

They'll come and collect it, let's go.

We haven't got much time, let's try and find something that's actually going to make us some money.

VO: That's right, Laila, please keep him in order - it was all getting a bit out of hand in there, didn't you think?

VO: Whilst Laila and James head off to their next shop, Charles and Paul are taking some time out for an educational trip.

Like Laila, Charles isn't going to escape the hospital for his visit.

VO: They've come to the Thackray Medical Museum.

VO: So, fresh from the set of Casualty, Charles should feel right at home.

CHARLES: Hello sir.

ALAN: Hey there.

CHARLES: How are you?

ALAN: Very well, thank you.

CHARLES: Charlie.

ALAN: Hello there.

Hi, Paul.

Hi.

I'm Alan, I'm the librarian here, and welcome to the Thackray Museum.

VO: Guide Alan Humphries is here to take our chaps on a journey back in time through all the fascinating medical artefacts held in the museum.

VO: We take modern medicine for granted today, but in the beginning it was very rudimentary.

PAUL: Alan, what on earth are we looking at here?

ALAN: It's an early 1700s orthopedic demonstration frame.

It was made so that a surgeon or a doctor could show you what appliances were available for your particular orthopedic problem.

I'd hate to have the complaint that required you to wear that round your head!

VO: This rather gruesome looking apparatus was built to demonstrate all the splints and supports doctors could offer people suffering with breaks and sprains.

CHARLES: Obviously this is very, very helpful if you had an existing injury, but not much use if that particular limb was missing?

ALAN: Yes, for that you needed a prosthetic of some sort.

ALAN: The oldest known ones are actually Roman, they go back an awfully long way.

ALAN: But the modern artificial limb comes in in about 1815, it was produced for the Marquis of Anglesey after he had his leg shot off at Waterloo, and that actually allowed him to walk normally, with a flexing knee, and also a flexing ankle.

VO: With the advent of new technologies and materials, it wasn't long before doctors began to experiment with imitating how our bones work and even replacing them when they got worn out.

VO: These are all examples of hip joints made by Sir John Charnley, a highly skilled orthopedic surgeon who began experimenting with new designs in 1947.

ALAN: Well, he started off using large heads to match the natural ones in the body, but John Charnley came up with the idea of using small heads, because it reduced the amount of friction.

He also started using plastic instead of metal.

ALAN: One of the very first he produced in about 1958-1960.

It has a quite short neck.

ALAN: The later ones, he extended the neck, because when you actually have that in there, with a narrow neck, you've got a good amount of movement, which you don't have with the shorter neck, or with the larger head.

CHARLES: Feel the weight of that one.

CHARLES: I mean, it's quite a considerable weight.

ALAN: Mm.

How does that compare to the body in its natural form in that particular part of the body?

It will be heavier, but as it's part of the weight bearing system, you don't notice the weight.

CHARLES: Right.

VO: Charnley had quite eccentric methods when it came to creating some of his new designs.

But the actual hip cups were made by Charnley himself.

ALAN: The day before the operations, he would go down to the shed, and using this, he would actually turn up the hip cups for tomorrow's work.

CHARLES: Got a couple of fresh hips to do this morning, dear.

CHARLES: I'll be an hour or so.

And, er, we'll have some people not hobbling any more.

VO: Charnley's hip replacement procedures have gone on to benefit hundreds of thousands of patients.

So we've got to that point, have we gone anywhere from there?

There are many, many different sorts of hip implant.

They are using ceramic hips now.

CHARLES: Mm.

Because the ceramic doesn't wear.

CHARLES: No.

You get a little bit of wear for two or three years, then nothing for 10, 20 years.

They... CHARLES: Really?

So you are looking at a potential life expectancy now of a hip of up to 20 years?

ALAN: Oh, at least.

The longest record they've got for the Charnley is 37 years.

I'll get mine done now then, I'll get the knees done at the same time, the back and all the other bits of me that don't work, thanks to the joys of rugby!

I think yeah, we'd better get it done, stop mucking about!

I can get out of bed in the mornings.

VO: With his hip, knee and ankle replacements booked in, Charles limps out of the museum after Paul.

VO: Two items behind and with some catching up to do, Laila and Paul are wasting no time getting to their next shop.

JAMES: So how did you get in to acting to start with?

I went to Lee Strasberg... .

JAMES: Oh, nice.

Yes, all the method acting.

JAMES: Very nice.

So that's where I started drama, and then my first proper job was a pilot that we were filming in Mumbai for two months.

LAILA: While I was out there, I was approached by a music channel, and asked if I wanted to be a VJ, a video jockey.

LAILA: You know, I started off as a presenter, really.

LAILA: It was great fun.

JAMES: Oh, we're here.

LAILA: Oh, are we?

JAMES: So this is your chance, to not do presenting... LAILA: This is interesting.

JAMES: ..but to do antiques dealing.

VO: Right guys - back on the job, and finding a bargain at next shop, owned by Peter McGlade.

JAMES: Gosh.

You don't even know where to start, do you?

VO: There's an awful lot to see here but Laila's not feeling very inspired by this shop.

However, James spots something of interest.

JAMES: How about the brass lamp?

60.

JAMES: Pfff.

PETER: OK, 50.

VO: This brass and copper standard lamp was made in the 1880s in the arts and crafts style, very popular around that time.

It's not looking so chic now and it's a little bit pricey at £50.

JAMES: What do you think?

I'm not convinced, but I want you to make the decision.

VO: I'd be careful how you deal with this shop owner James - he's already heard you were coming!

I've heard about the champagne bottle.

JAMES: Have you heard about the champagne bottle?

PETER: Yes.

LAILA: Word has got round?

One of... Somebody told me.

JAMES: Already?

This is... JAMES: You see, it's because it's so wonderful.

LAILA: It's not, it's because we're so stupid.

JAMES: I'll make you a cheeky offer, just to try and buy something.

JAMES: For the lamp... PETER: Yes?

JAMES: 20 quid.

Gives us a chance.

JAMES: See, it might make 30, 35 at the auction, by the time... Well, make it 30 and we've got a deal.

What do you think?

I dunno.

Em...

I don't know.

How about 25?

Go on.

Deal.

Is that..?

It's up to you.

JAMES: It's worth a gamble.

LAILA: Yeah?

JAMES: Yeah.

LAILA: On your head be it.

Come on then.

Deal.

PETER: Deal.

JAMES: Shake the man's hand.

PETER: OK.

Thank you, Peter, thank you.

Thank you very much.

VO: It's a deal at £25.

Come on, money, money...

Here we go.

VO: Even with their new lamp, James and Laila have only spent £61 and have still got £339 burning a hole in their pockets.

VO: Laila's never been so bad at spending money.

So with 10 minutes before the shops shut, they've decided to dash back to the first shop they visited this morning.

Have you ever spent less than £61?

JAMES: No, never.

This is the least... Are you serious?

JAMES: Yeah, it's the least I've ever spent.

Oh, my God!

I mean, I'm embarrassed.

VO: Let's hope fresh eyes and desperation help you spot something!

LAILA: OK, come on then.

JAMES: Right.

VO: Back at Swiss Cottage Antiques, James spots something that he walked right past this morning.

Look, what about that?

Didn't even see that last time.

LAILA: What is it?

SANDY: A boot jack.

LAILA: What's a boot jack?

SANDY: You know, for putting your boots, your riding boots on.

JAMES: Pulling your wellies off.

Can we have a look at that?

Yeah.

VO: This Victorian boot jack is just the thing a country gent would have needed by his front door to help him out of his riding boots.

But it's £45, and you've only got minutes to spare, better strike that deal.

JAMES: How much could this be?

Ooh, em... 40?

JAMES: Oh!

What?

LAILA: Come on!

LAILA: Just cuz we're desperate, don't take the mick, Sandy.

SANDY: It's an old piece.

I'm an old piece.

SANDY: It's an old piece?

JAMES: But I'm not worth 40 quid.

No, seriously, what could you do that for?

38.

No, no, no, no, no less.

What?

Honestly.

It only went up there yesterday.

Nobody's seen it...

I was thinking like 25.

28 quid.

LAILA: Come on, that's fair, Sandy.

John?

JOHN: What?

We are being bid £28 on this.

Are you?

35, I think, Sandy.

JAMES: How about 31?

Can't do it.

VO: You're running out of time James - time to resort to other methods JAMES: Ow!

Oh!

I've trapped my finger in it.

15 quid and I won't sue.

Is it stuck in there, seriously?

It's stuck in there.

LAILA: Are you serious?

JAMES: No, course I'm not.

LAILA: Oh, God!

VO: Leave the acting to Laila, James, and give the lady her £35.

JAMES: Twenty, there's 20, 30.

35.

All the right way.

Brilliant.

I'll get you a receipt.

Thank you very much.

VO: And that's it - a thrilling ride, non stop drama, excitement and some of the most novel purchases yet!

We've seen it all now.

VO: So with the shopping over, it's time for our teams to show each other what they've bought.

LAILA & JAMES: One, two, three.

PAUL: Tada!

CHARLES: Ah!

CHARLES: Didn't know you'd been to the jumble sale.

PAUL: I see you've been down the wrecker, the scrapyard.

LAILA: No.

JAMES: Is that what I think it is?

Is that Pilkington?

PAUL: Yes.

JAMES: Where did you find that?

PAUL: Basement.

JAMES: Ooh.

And how much was it?

Cheapsy, cheapsy... 35.

PAUL: 35.

Chhh!

Anyway, go on, what's... That I love.

What is that?

It's known as a cat.

LAILA: It's a what?

A cat.

It's a rare thing.

But how much did you pay for it?

25.

Oh no, you didn't!

And what's that thing there?

PAUL: Well, that's us going out on a limb, I would say.

50s, more likely 60s, French pickle dish.

Check out the action, and atomic being the theme.

Cocktail.

Broken!

That's why it was free.

CHARLES: It wasn't broken before.

Was it free?

CHARLES: No, it was £12.

PAUL: Maybe wanted to be.

LAILA: I like that.

JAMES: That's funky, I like it.

PAUL: It's funky, though, isn't it?

JAMES: Yeah.

Biggest profit, Lancastrian, that could have a one in front of it, I think.

VO: Oh dear, the vase and Georgian cat have got James and Laila starting to look a bit worried.

So, what do you think to this lot?

PAUL: 19th century boot jack, not... not a fantastic one... JAMES: No, no.

..but I suspect you got that cheap.

Did you steal that at £20 or £30?

JAMES: 35.

Can't go wrong.

Now, the fire extinguisher, you're gonna have a problem selling that.

LAILA: Why?

Why are we gonna have a problem selling it?

CHARLES: Is this one of your choices, darling?

LAILA: Just keep it in the corner, it's just like retro, isn't it?

PAUL: I'm cutting right to the chase.

What did you pay for that?

JAMES: Twelve.

LAILA: £12.

PAUL: Can't go wrong.

CHARLES: Yeah.

It's gotta be 25-30, hasn't it?

PAUL: It's gotta be that.

JAMES: Yeah.

VO: But wait, they've not finished.

Where's he going now?

VO: They've saved the best till last!

JAMES: Pull it!

LAILA: Oh, my God!

PAUL: Did you get a straw with that?

Laila, did he suffer any sort of breakdown during this process?

He convinced me to buy it.

There's not enough alcohol in the world, in fact all the alcohol in that bottle would not make me buy that.

JAMES: It is completely mad.

Yeah.

But I reckon somebody is going to be laughing so much in the saleroom that they will pay more than £16 for that.

Well done, guys.

Good luck.

JAMES: Fantastic.

LAILA: And to you, well done.

CHARLES: Well done, sweetheart.

LAILA: Mwah!

PAUL: Well done.

CHARLES: It's been a pleasure.

LAILA: Well done.

JAMES: Well done.

CHARLES: I'm not kissing you.

CHARLES: Come here, you.

Come here, you.

VO: You're going to need it!

Now come on chaps, give us the lowdown on what you really think.

You know, I really like their stuff but it's made me like our stuff more.

It's done exactly the same thing for me.

Yes.

I wouldn't swap.

No, neither would I!

Oh, this is smugness before a fall, I can feel it.

But I saw your eyes light up with the cat.

JAMES: That cat could do really well.

LAILA: Right.

The boot jack is a...

I... is quite a nice thing, if you have boots.

They're good things.

I think ours has got a lot of humor in it too.

I do, I do.

I think the thing that will make the big difference, the thing that might win it or lose it for us is the bottle.

Seriously, that's the one that could scupper everything.

So, I think it's going to be really close.

I think it's going to be fun... JAMES: Yeah.

LAILA: ..to see as well.

CHARLES: It could go any way.

PAUL: Absolutely.

But, no matter how it goes, you and I did a good job.

You d... Sir, thank you for all your assistance... Aye, double act.

..and experience.

Absolutely, sir.

PAUL: Alright, my man?

CHARLES: Pleasure.

Let's go have a pint or something.

Aye, aye.

VO: Oi, no slacking - you've got an auction to go to!

VO: And so it's time to leave the hustle and bustle of Leeds and race 200 miles down south to reconvene in Surrey.

Here our celebrity road trip comes to an end with an auction in charming rustic Chertsey.

VO: It's a pretty little place - and it's one of the oldest towns in Britain.

VO: But there's no time to enjoy the scenery, as our two teams have come to do battle at Wellers Auctioneers.

VO: Reunited with their wheels at last, Charles is explaining auction etiquette to Laila.

LAILA: So, have you ever been to an auction house before?

Because I haven't and I am terribly excited.

CHARLES: Just don't scratch your nose at any of the wrong moment, you could end up buying something you really, really don't like.

Ooh.

After you, ma'am.

LAILA: Thank you.

So, have you been upstairs yet?

PAUL: We've had a wee shufty.

LAILA: Busy?

There are some people there.

JAMES: Not many.

Do you think it'll get busier, though?

Well, as soon as that champagne bottle... ..that's it, the room is going to fill.

There's gonna be a rush.

JAMES: You, cheeky.

CHARLES: Shall we?

Go on, Paul.

VO: Wellers have been auctioneers and valuers since 1866, and they sell everything from fine art to agricultural products.

RUPERT: 18, 18, 18, £20, £20, two, 22, five, at 25, £28.

RUPERT: At £28, at 28 gonna go, at 28.

VO: Today is a general antiques sale.

So what does auctioneer Rupert Stevens think of our competitors' items?

Let's hope he's open minded!

RUPERT: Yeah, the George III cat's my favorite item.

We don't see many of these come through and I think it's going to do very well today, it's just a little bit quirky.

RUPERT: The nuts and nibbles dish is quite an unusual thing.

I expect it'll do reasonably well in today's sale.

RUPERT: A massive novelty champagne bottle, most unusual thing.

I've never sold a bottle quite that large before, so I don't know quite what it's going to make today.

RUPERT: The least favorite of all the items today is the decanter.

RUPERT: It's really quite worn, it's not the prettiest thing and I think it's going to be tough to sell.

VO: Well it looks like this could go either way, then.

JAMES: Come on.

LAILA: Come on.

VO: Both teams began this journey with £400 in the coffers.

Shopaholic Laila and James, against all the odds, spent only a paltry £96 and staked their reputations on a very er... unusual selection of five lots.

VO: Meanwhile steady hands Charles and Paul spent a more respectable £117 also on five lots.

Job done.

Job done, sir.

VO: Well the tension is mounting and our teams are beginning to feel nervous.

Into your seats as it's the first lot already.

Straight up it's Charles and Paul's 1950s cocktail nibble dish.

RUPERT: Most unusual thing.

Where for it?

50, 30, 20?

RUPERT: 10, 12 bid, 15, can I get 15?

15, can I get 15, and out.

£15.

RUPERT: Web's gone quiet, at 15, 15, 18, sir?

RUPERT: 20, sir?

£20, £20, £20... Well done.

RUPERT: At £20, at £20, £20, quite sure on the right, £20, not going to dwell.

At £20.

PAUL: Well done.

VO: That's a profit of £8 before commission and a good start for the boys.

Next up, the china pot that James thinks is Denby Tigo ware.

The auction house aren't convinced however, and have only given it a guide price of £5.

They think it's Marks & Spencers and came free with an orchid.

Is that what they really think?

In the style of Denby Tigo ware.

Pretty, pretty thing.

RUPERT: We've got interest in this thing at £20.

JAMES: Oh, straight in at 20.

RUPERT: Straight in at £20.

£20, £20, £20, 2, 22, £22, £22, £22, at £22.

RUPERT: Going to be sold at £22.

All done and away, at £22.

VO: Tigo ware or not, it's still made a nice price.

LAILA: Yes.

PAUL: Can't argue with that.

VO: The hobbyist jigsaw is next.

Will that cut the boys another profit?

Unusual thing.

50, 30, 20.

.. catalogues this is, £20.

Ten, ten?

RUPERT: 12, 15, 15, I've got 15, at £15.

Am I gonna get £15 anywhere else now.

15 bid, £15.

PAUL: He's going to sell it for £15.

RUPERT: £15, I hear no more, we stop at £15, the gavel's up and poised.

All done?

VO: And that's the first loss of the day.

LAILA: Oh, your face.

You'll have to make it up out of your own pocket, you know.

You chose it, nothing to do with me.

VO: Can Laila's fire extinguisher set the room alight?

I'm bid straight in at 15, 18 bid, 18, 18, 18, 18 gonna go, at £18 I'll sell, £18, RUPERT: 18, 18 we're gonna go, £18, I'm bid.

£20, £20, £20, internet bidder.

£20 now, 20 bid.

LAILA: 20.

PAUL: Internet.

RUPERT: On the internet, 22, 22, 22, back of the room at 22, RUPERT: 22, 22, 22, 22.

RUPERT: Don't miss out on this once in a lifetime opportunity.

£22, well, they might, at £22, at £22 and five... Yay!

RUPERT: 25.

At £25, 25, £25.

LAILA: Oh, my God!

RUPERT: £25, 28 if you like.

Go on!

RUPERT: At £25, they won't, at £25, on the web wins this time at £25.

Are you all done?

Quite sure.

Gavel's up and away.

At £25.

LAILA: Yay!

Well done.

PAUL: Well done.

VO: Well done Laila!

Another nice profit for them.

VO: The boys are pinning their hopes on the decanter.

RUPERT: 10, 12, 15 bid, can I get 15, at £18.

18, 18, £20, £20, £20, two, 22, 25, 25, 28, £28, 30 is left of you at 30.

At 30, can I get 30.

£30 now.

35?

35, 35, back of the room at £35.

35, on the web now at 35, 35, 35.

Watch the gavel stop at three and five, you all done?

RUPERT: At £35.

VO: That's more like it - another modest profit.

That's surprising, isn't it?

Those mad modern things have done alright.

Yeah, yeah.

It's a bit retro, isn't it?

But the traditional... VO: Let's see if your next item takes a nosedive - it's the Lancastrian vase.

Straight in we go at £35, 35, 40, five, £45, 45, to the market it goes at £45, 45... No internet.

CHARLES: It's just not coming in.

RUPERT: At £45, gavel's up, make no mistake, it's away, at £45, I'm gonna stop at four... VO: Well it's a profit, but only a small one after commission.

I'm not coming again.

VO: Laila and James are beginning to streak ahead, but with traditional lots not doing so well, will their Victorian standard lamp be their undoing?

RUPERT: Five, eight bid, we'll let it go for eight, go for eight.

8, I'm bid, £8, look at that lantern, 10, 12, 15 madam?

RUPERT: 15, I've got 15, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, gents are in, ladies are out.

RUPERT: £18, £18 what is that 20?

£20, £20, £20, 20, he's back in again at 20, 22, 22, 22, 22... Let's just break even on this, please.

You're even getting the lampshade, madam at £22.

Doesn't that swing it?

22, 22, £22, all sure and away at two and two, gonna stop at... LAILA: Oh!

JAMES: Oh no.

VO: Oh dear - this doesn't bode well for the other Victorian items.

I still think it would have made more without the shade.

JAMES: Yeah.

LAILA: Really?

VO: Will the Georgian cat bring them a whisker of a profit?

30?

20 bid, 25, 30 got, at 30, £35, £35, at £35.

On the market it goes at £35 to the internet bidder, at £35.

I want to bid too.

Can we not bid?

VO: Well it's a profit, but not as much as the boys were expecting.

I was thinking of finding the main fuse box and just pulling the plug on the affair, or starting a small fire at the back of the room.

VO: Will James and Laila's 19th century boot jack trip them up as well?

This one it's got to be surely 60?

RUPERT: 40?

£20.

No.

RUPERT: 10, 12, 15, 18, 18, 18, £20, £20, £20, two internet bidders at £20, 22, £22, 22, 25, 25, 25, 25, 25... Come on, it's worth more than that.

RUPERT: 25 for the item, £28 on the web.

At £28.

At £28, gavel's up, £28 and selling.

All done at £28.

Thank you.

VO: Oh dear - that's feet first down the swanny.

VO: So, it's all down to the giant fiberglass champagne bottle.

Will it burst their bubble or could it give them that kick they need?

Look at this, bid on this one, it's gotta be surely £100?

RUPERT: 50?

We'll take 50.

30?

RUPERT: Look at it, at £25, a result, at 28, 30.

JAMES: Come on.

RUPERT: 30, is somebody going to go five, 35 is the price.

Yay!

RUPERT: 35, 35, 40, 40... Wooh!

40, 40, 40, 45, 45, 45.

RUPERT: Worth it madam, £45?

Come on, 50, you gonna go 50?

RUPERT: At 50 here, 50.

On the web now.

50 bid, 50 bid.

One more madam... Go on!

RUPERT: At 50, at 50.

There's no pressure, but at 50 everyone's out.

50 now, at 50 bid on the right now.

£50, I'll sell away now, if everyone's quite sure away at £50, you all done?

LAILA & JAMES: (CHEERING) LAILA: That's brilliant.

You got it right.

VO: Break out the real bubbly guys - that's given you a whopping profit of £34 before commission.

Sorry boys.

JAMES: Guys.

CHARLES: Congratulations, guys.

If I'd predicted that a couple of hours ago I'd have been a rich man.

Well done, dude.

Unbelievable.

It is, isn't it?

Unbelievable, yeah.

VO: Both teams started with a £400 budget.

After auction costs, James and Laila made an overall profit of £24.54, which means they wind up their road trip with £424.54.

VO: Meanwhile Charles and Paul only made a profit of £6 after auction costs, so take away just £406.

VO: So, James and Laila, the real champagne's on you, as you are today's winners, and all the profits generated from the auction will go to Children In Need.

LAILA: I mean...

I couldn't believe what I was hearing, it's just... it's crazy.

Isn't it?

That's why people go to auctions, though.

Is that what happens then?

If everything made its money on every occasion it would be pretty dull affairs, auctions.

It's not the making...

It's just the things that did make money, I mean they were a shocker.

I knew.

Oh, alright!

You can't, you can't... JAMES: You all, you all dissed me about that bottle.

LAILA: That is so true, no, you can have your moment of glory, cuz you're absolutely right, we did.

Sorry it didnae go better, my man.

No, that's a shame.

Absolutely brilliant.

Thank you so much, James.

Very, very enjoyable couple of days.

You're an absolute star.

Congratulations, guv'nor.

PAUL: Well done.

VO: Well done everyone.

Come on, sweetheart.

VO: The champagne took you to glory, but will your car take you home?

JAMES: Oh dear.

CHARLES: I'd better get you home.

LAILA: Get into your Ford Cortina... Have fun.

CHARLES: Here we go, hold your breath.

PAUL: You like that Cortina.

LAILA: Essex style.

(ENGINE TURNING OVER) Ah!

No way!

Come on, mate, come on, quick.

Come on.

Cheers, guys, bye!

CHARLES: Oh, it started.

We're leaving, we're going now.

CHARLES: Farewell.

LAILA: Farewell.

You know, I've got a feeling we're going to pass them on the side of the road in about half an hour.

Give me those keys.

Shake your hand first.

You're not driving.

I am driving, it's my turn.

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